The first time for a lot of women is usually very
important in their lives. Good or bad, it is an experience they will
never forget. Naij.com approached a few of them to hear what they had to say about their first time. (Names have been changed to protect the identity of the women.)
1. Rachael (at 17)
“Soon after graduating from secondary school, I met a guy and he was the first guy I ever dated. He treated me well and made me fall in love with him so I though it was natural to have him be my first. Not long after this, he traveled to South Africa to further his studies and I never heard from him again.”
“I waited till I met my fiance. We have been dating for two years and we just started planning our wedding at the beginning of this year. I spend a lot of time at his place because it was closer to my work. It was one of those nights I spent at his place, one thing led to another.”
3. Diana (at 22)
“I was in polytechnic while he was struggling. I was with him through it all, but we never had an opportunity to be intimate due to the fact that neither of us had our private house and we were not financially alright.
“Eventually, he got a job and was able to get a small apartment of his own. We started hanging out there and soon after I lost my virginity to him. We could not maintain a relationship for too long due to religious differences so we had to break up eventually.”
4. Jane (at 18)
“This is not a story I am too proud of. I started dating this guy in my first year of university. He was also a virgin at the time and we both made a decision to lose our virginity to each other. It was a very uncomfortable experience as not only was he inexperienced, he was also very well endowed.
“I did not enjoy the intimacy at all. Not long after our tryst, I met another guy (while still with my boyfriend) and a week later, we had sex. This was so much better but I knew the guy was just with me for sex so I still stayed with my boyfriend and we went on to date for 3 more years .”
5. Yemisi (at 15)
“We were secondary school sweethearts. We were good friends from JSS1. We eventually started a relationship around the time I was in SS1. We were both in the boarding house so we snuck around a lot to make love and we were the ‘couple’ in school. We are married with a daughter now.”
6. Damola (at 24)
“I was a student at a University in Ogun state. I met this guy who was very well-to-do. He took care of me and bought me everything I needed including paying my school fees. I kept telling him I was a virgin but he did not believe me.
“He kept pressuring me for sex. One day, we were together, and while he was attempting to finally make love to me, he realized I was a virgin. We talked about it and since he had done so much for me, I decided to give myself to him.
“It was a terrible experience and even subsequent sessions with him were really bad. I did not know that sex could feel good until long after I broke up with him and started dating someone else that was better in bed.”
7. Dammie (at 16)
“I was just about to graduate from secondary school and I did not have any boyfriend. I was very focused on my studies so I had no time for any social life. But one day, when my brother’s friend came to visit, he expressed interest in me and convinced me that he wanted a future with me.
“He talked on and on about how he was in love with me and would love for us to have a relationship. I fell for all his words and eventually let him have his way with me after a couple of months of begging. Well, needless to say, all his words were just that, words. Soon after giving it up to him, he disappeared from my life. He really taught me a lesson I would never forget.”
8. Regina (at 26)
“My parents have always wanted me to marry the son of a family friend. When I graduated from University, they sat me down and told me that after my Youth Service, we should begin to plan a wedding.
“I was posted to Abuja (far away from my home) for Service and for the first time, I had some freedom. I met a guy there I started having feelings for.
“Due to the thought that once I returned back home, I would be stuck marrying a man I do not love and being with him forever, I lost my virginity to the guy just so I would at least have an opportunity to do what I truly desire.
“I never saw him again. I am now married to the man my parents wanted but I still think about my other love from time to time.”
9. Bolanle (at 24)
“I met him in my second year in University. When we started dating I told him I was a virgin.I noticed he was a skirt-chaser. He went after many women while he was dating me. Anytime I caught him, he told me that since I was not giving him sex, he had to get it somewhere else.
“I eventually gave in and had sex with him just to keep him faithful. Things were okay for a while but soon, he went back to his past ways. I still stayed with him because I did just not want to give up on someone I lost my virginity to.
“But when I continued being treated badly, I realized he was always going to be like that so we broke up.”
10. Anita (at 28)
“I have always been a staunch believer in “no sex before marriage”, so when I met him at a friend’s wedding, I made it known from the start that sex was off the table until I said “I do”.
“We courted for almost a year and got married a few months ago. My first time was on our wedding night. I have no regrets.”There had been speculations all over the world on the best time as well as the right age to actually engage in sexual practices.
1. Rachael (at 17)
“Soon after graduating from secondary school, I met a guy and he was the first guy I ever dated. He treated me well and made me fall in love with him so I though it was natural to have him be my first. Not long after this, he traveled to South Africa to further his studies and I never heard from him again.”
“I waited till I met my fiance. We have been dating for two years and we just started planning our wedding at the beginning of this year. I spend a lot of time at his place because it was closer to my work. It was one of those nights I spent at his place, one thing led to another.”
3. Diana (at 22)
“I was in polytechnic while he was struggling. I was with him through it all, but we never had an opportunity to be intimate due to the fact that neither of us had our private house and we were not financially alright.
“Eventually, he got a job and was able to get a small apartment of his own. We started hanging out there and soon after I lost my virginity to him. We could not maintain a relationship for too long due to religious differences so we had to break up eventually.”
4. Jane (at 18)
“This is not a story I am too proud of. I started dating this guy in my first year of university. He was also a virgin at the time and we both made a decision to lose our virginity to each other. It was a very uncomfortable experience as not only was he inexperienced, he was also very well endowed.
“I did not enjoy the intimacy at all. Not long after our tryst, I met another guy (while still with my boyfriend) and a week later, we had sex. This was so much better but I knew the guy was just with me for sex so I still stayed with my boyfriend and we went on to date for 3 more years .”
5. Yemisi (at 15)
“We were secondary school sweethearts. We were good friends from JSS1. We eventually started a relationship around the time I was in SS1. We were both in the boarding house so we snuck around a lot to make love and we were the ‘couple’ in school. We are married with a daughter now.”
6. Damola (at 24)
“I was a student at a University in Ogun state. I met this guy who was very well-to-do. He took care of me and bought me everything I needed including paying my school fees. I kept telling him I was a virgin but he did not believe me.
“He kept pressuring me for sex. One day, we were together, and while he was attempting to finally make love to me, he realized I was a virgin. We talked about it and since he had done so much for me, I decided to give myself to him.
“It was a terrible experience and even subsequent sessions with him were really bad. I did not know that sex could feel good until long after I broke up with him and started dating someone else that was better in bed.”
7. Dammie (at 16)
“I was just about to graduate from secondary school and I did not have any boyfriend. I was very focused on my studies so I had no time for any social life. But one day, when my brother’s friend came to visit, he expressed interest in me and convinced me that he wanted a future with me.
“He talked on and on about how he was in love with me and would love for us to have a relationship. I fell for all his words and eventually let him have his way with me after a couple of months of begging. Well, needless to say, all his words were just that, words. Soon after giving it up to him, he disappeared from my life. He really taught me a lesson I would never forget.”
8. Regina (at 26)
“My parents have always wanted me to marry the son of a family friend. When I graduated from University, they sat me down and told me that after my Youth Service, we should begin to plan a wedding.
“I was posted to Abuja (far away from my home) for Service and for the first time, I had some freedom. I met a guy there I started having feelings for.
“Due to the thought that once I returned back home, I would be stuck marrying a man I do not love and being with him forever, I lost my virginity to the guy just so I would at least have an opportunity to do what I truly desire.
“I never saw him again. I am now married to the man my parents wanted but I still think about my other love from time to time.”
9. Bolanle (at 24)
“I met him in my second year in University. When we started dating I told him I was a virgin.I noticed he was a skirt-chaser. He went after many women while he was dating me. Anytime I caught him, he told me that since I was not giving him sex, he had to get it somewhere else.
“I eventually gave in and had sex with him just to keep him faithful. Things were okay for a while but soon, he went back to his past ways. I still stayed with him because I did just not want to give up on someone I lost my virginity to.
“But when I continued being treated badly, I realized he was always going to be like that so we broke up.”
10. Anita (at 28)
“I have always been a staunch believer in “no sex before marriage”, so when I met him at a friend’s wedding, I made it known from the start that sex was off the table until I said “I do”.
“We courted for almost a year and got married a few months ago. My first time was on our wedding night. I have no regrets.”There had been speculations all over the world on the best time as well as the right age to actually engage in sexual practices.
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